The Secret is out of the Garden: this place SUCKS.

Garden Secrets Vegan/Vegetarian Restaurant & Store? in Hot Springs, AR

the food sucks. if the options are between eating out of a dumpster or eating here, ok, i’d probably choose Garden Secrets, but there is absolutely no other reason to eat there. i was a vegetarian for 10+ years and i frequently prepared meat-free meals. so, let’s start with, it’s not the lack of meat that’s the problem at Garden Secrets. it’s the lack of creativity, the lack of FLAVOR, the lack of ambiance and the lack of a good waitstaff.

let’s start with walking in the door: the room is dark, as in no lights on. there is a pitiful excuse for a “store” that you’ll be standing in. my pantry is better stocked. so, here’s your chance to leave. leave before someone spots you and offers to escort you down the weird ass corridor to the “dining area” which is nothing more than an exterior add-on sun room of an old house. there are about 10 booths. go on, think “oh, a restaurant in an old house, how quaint, how cute.” think that about OTHER restaurants. this ain’t cute.

while listening to sad funeral home tunes, you can peruse the menu. you can look at the SOUPS & SALADS section and see NO SOUPS listed. the menu has salads, burgers, sandwiches, panini, spaghetti & various stir fry.
 

look at the mishmash items and think about how the combination of appetizers and your entree will make you VOMIT. guacamole with beef stir fry anyone?

after a looooooooooooong question & answer session of: do you make your own tea? do you have sweet tea? do you make the sweet tea? the tea came un~tea like and unsweet. on the table STEVIA is offered. no real sugar. we were told to sweeten it ourselves.

BEWARE drink refills are not free.

during your excruciatingly long wait for your order to arrive, you can take that time to look at the DIRTY return vent in the wall or the shitty paint job.
 

the service was odd. servers were not unlike lobotomized zombies. we compared our lunch experience not only to a funeral but to eating at the bar in the Shinning, but hell, we all know that would have been waaaaaaaaay better.

the guacamole appetizer ($5.99) was good. the mushroom panini and minestrone soup ($7.99) were both tasteless & bland. the soup had no depth of flavor.
 

prepare yourself for a wait to pay. NOT b/c there is a queue, they haven’t figured out that the cash register will tally what is punched into it. on a pad next to the register, she tried to figure out, long hand, how much to charge for 3 teas ($6.60).

$36.79 down & still hungry.

so, if you haven’t gotten the message: do yourself a favor and DO NOT GO TO GARDEN SECRETS. the secret is out of the garden: this place SUCKS.

also, it's pretty obvious that the review on urban spoon is phony. NO ONE WOULD GO HERE FOR A CELEBRATION DINNER. ok, maybe JACK TORRANCE.